The Lost Art of Gratitude

If the only prayer you say in your whole life is "Thank you," that would suffice.

- Meister Eckhart

Meister Eckhart (1260-1329) was a German mystic who was of the Dominican order. In the above quote, he points out one of the single most important aspects to the Christian life: gratitude.

Why is gratitude important? I think that there are several reasons, but lets cover just a few in brevity; by doing so, my hope is that there is room for the reader to think about this topic and come up with some of your own reasons for being grateful.

Gratitude Takes Humility and Wisdom

If there is one thing that I think stands the test of time, it is that humility and wisdom are often directly proportional in a person's life. Gratitude often is a difficult thing because it means one of two things: either I needed the gift given or I can appreciate it, even if I didn't strictly need it. In the first case, it is obvious that it is often difficult to accept help when one needs it; I think we all can agree that our pride often gets in the way. In the second case, the wisdom that is necessary to realize when good things are given and that they did not have to be given takes time. By way of example, I remember my philosophy professor pointing out a rose and saying that it did not need the quality red or the scent that it carried in order to be a rose; if God wanted it gray and scentless, he could have made it so. In this way, Gratitude helps us to practice wisdom and humility in any given situation and those are Christ-like qualities.

Gratitude Pleases God

The only thing that is more of a let down than when someone doesn't say thank you is when someone thanks you for the gift you've given and then doesn't use it. It's like getting your friends a coffee maker for their wedding, receiving a hand-written "thank you" note saying how glad they are that you were at the wedding and then finding that coffee maker, still in the box, in the garage at their cook-out two years later. You feel let down; you feel like they didn't truly like the gift and that there was no joy derived from it. In your mind you had images of early morning brew gently rising them from slumber and ushering them into a beautiful day only to find out that they were likely still grabbing that Starbucks every morning on the way to work. Gifts are given so that joy and fullness can be experienced from them. The same is true for us and God; God gives gifts to all of creation. There are general gifts like nature and our bodies that are given to both believers and non-believers and there are spiritual gifts given to those who have become one with the Holy Spirit. In either case, we truly let God down when we take that gift and leave it in the box, on a shelf in our spiritual garage. Gratitude not only means saying thank you but using the gift because there is joy to be had in it and this pleases God.

Gratitude Brings People Together

When I was managing a restaurant, one of the most important things that I did for my employees was say "thank you." Most of them had never worked for someone who valued their creativity and efforts as much as their actual output. For example, we were tweaking a recipe and I asked one of my cooks to have some liberty with the recipe so that I could see what came of it. The first couple tries were a flop, but each time I encouraged him to try again and sincerely thanked him for his efforts. By the third or fourth time, he nailed it, confident in himself. He told me later that no one had ever thanked him for his work and made him feel valued that much. Gratitude inherently brings people into better relationships. When we thank people for their contributions and stop viewing people in utilitarian terms of what we can get from them, it is much easier to see them as people -- just like you. Ironically, no one likes being used, but most everyone struggles to intentionally make people feel valued. Gratitude is key in this effort. 

This is Not the End

There is so much more to be said about gratitude and when you stop and think about it, thankfulness impacts so many areas of our lives; it touches our self-image, our relationships, our jobs, our families and more. Practice gratitude in sincerity and action, not just in hollow words and if you have to fake it until you make it, it's better to say it and learn to feel it later; remember that the wisdom to recognized deserved thanks only comes with maturity and we're not all there. Also remember that our prayers should be primarily articulations of our thankfulness and then secondarily requests. So think about how you can be more grateful today

and then do it.

peace,

C.M.

The Hardest Thing Ever

I want to share a couple of passages of Scripture in which two of my favorite mystics, when taken in concert, issue one of the hardest challenges to mankind and it is one that most Christians (myself included) gloss over. My prayer is that you read these in their entirety and accept the challenge.

"You're familiar with the old written law, 'Love your friend,' and it's unwritten companion, 'Hate your enemy.' I'm challenging that. I'm telling you to love your enemies. Let them bring out the best in you, not the worst. When someone gives you a hard time, respond with the energies of prayer, for then you are working out of your true selves, your God-created selves. This is what God does. he gives his best -- the sun to warm and the rain to nourish -- to everyone, regardless: the good and bad, the nice and nasty. If all you do is love the lovable, do you expect a bonus? Anybody can do that. If you simply say hello to those who greet you, do you expect a medal? Any run-of-the-mill sinner does that. In a word, what I'm saying is Grow up. You're Kingdom subjects. Now live like it. Live out your God-created identity. Live generously and graciously toward others, the way God lives toward you."
                          - Jesus, Matt. 5, msg.

Pow. Right between the eyes. Here Jesus points out that we aren't even acting as our true selves when we don't love indiscriminately. As if that command doesn't hit hard enough, lets look at our other mystic who clarifies some.

"But now I want to lay out a far better way for you. If I speak with human eloquence and angelic ecstasy but don't love, I'm nothing but the creaking of a rusty gate...If I give everything I own to the poor and even go to the stake to be burned as a martyr, but I don't love, I've gotten nowhere. So, no matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, I'm bankrupt without love. Love never gives up. Love cares more for others than for self. Love doesn't want what it doesn't have. Love doesn't strut, doesn't have a swelled head, doesn't force itself on others, isn't always 'me first,' doesn't fly off the handle, doesn't keep score of the sins of others, doesn't revel when others grovel, takes pleasure in the flowering of truth, puts up with anything, trusts God always, always looks for the best, never looks back but keeps going to the end. Love never dies...When I was an infant at my mother's breast, I gurgled and cooed like any infant. When I grew up, I left those infant ways for good. We don't yet see things clearly. We're squinting in a fog, peering through a mist. But it won't be long before the weather clears and the sun shines bright! we'll see it all then, see it all as clearly as God sees us...But for right now, until that completeness, we have three things to do to lead us toward that consummation: trust steadily in God, hope unswervingly, love extravagantly. and the best of the three is love."
                        - Paul the Apostle, 1 Cor. 12&13, msg.

Now, if you're a Christian, I'm sure you've heard both of these passages at one time or another. My purpose in laying them side by side like this is to point out two things.

First, is the blatant command: love your enemies; to supplement that command is the clarification: this is what love is. Most people have heard this Pauline verse used in marriage ceremonies so often that we assume it is talking exclusively about romantic relationships. You might also have heard it applied to the church, as in "this is how God feels about you and the church" which is true as well. Few, however, apply this thorough definition of love to our enemies. Go back and read it with someone you can't stand in mind; it's a much tougher read.

Second, both Jesus and Paul seem to have some idea that maturity is directly connected to how we love. Jesus says that we should "grow up" and love our enemies; Paul says that when he was a baby, he acted like one, but when he grew up, he loved correctly. We should regard our love as a gauge of our maturity. One of my favorite authors, Donald Miller once wrote that "reality is like a fine wine, it just won't appeal to the immature." I think that God's reality is love and that is the finest of wines which we should strive for.

Meditate:

There are many lessons we can draw from these passages of Scripture and more still when we examine them side-by-side. These are simply two of my thoughts. What are yours?

peace,
C.M.